| # | DESCRIPTN,C,254 | USED,C,1 | USERADD,C,1
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| 1 | A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain. | | |
| 2 | A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. | | |
| 3 | A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. | | |
| 4 | A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson | | |
| 5 | A man always has two reasons for what he does - a good one and the real one. -- J.P. Morgan | | |
| 6 | A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn. | | |
| 7 | According to the laws of aerodynamics the bumble bee cannot fly. I guess no one bothered to tell the bee. | | |
| 8 | Be nice to people on your way up because you'll need them on your way down. | | |
| 9 | Breeding rabbits is a hare raising experience. | | |
| 10 | Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it. | | |
| 11 | Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. | | |
| 12 | Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? | | |
| 13 | Efficiency is intelligent laziness. | | |
| 14 | Every successful person has had failures, but repeated failure is no guarantee of eventual success. | | |
| 15 | Faith is the quality that enables you to eat blackberry jam on a picnic without looking to see whether the seeds move. | | |
| 16 | Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. | | |
| 17 | Good judgement comes from experience; and experience, well, that comes from bad judgement. | | |
| 18 | He who laughs last didn't get the joke. | | |
| 19 | If A = B and B = C, then A = C, except where void or prohibited by law. | | |
| 20 | If Adam and Eve were alive today, they would probably sue the snake. -- Bern Williams | | |
| 21 | If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice? | | |
| 22 | If there were no one to watch them drive by, how many people would buy a Mercedes? | | |
| 23 | If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. | | |
| 24 | If, while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment is glutted. | | |
| 25 | In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling against prayer in schools will be temporarily canceled. | | |
| 26 | It is better to remain silent and thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. | | |
| 27 | It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so ingenious. | | |
| 28 | It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of leading causes of statistics. | | |
| 29 | Life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you stop peddling. | | |
| 30 | Misfortune: The kind of fortune that never misses. | | |
| 31 | Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do, and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. | | |
| 32 | Pedestrians never seem to realize that they are a threat to the safety of cars. | | |
| 33 | Pro is to con as progress is to Congress. | | |
| 34 | Real knowledge is to know the extent of ones ignorance. | | |
| 35 | Resting on one's laurels makes for an uncomfortable bed, and only crushes the laurels. | | |
| 36 | Stress! The confusion created when the mind must override the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some idiot who desperately deserves it. | | |
| 37 | Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home. | | |
| 38 | Temper is what gets most of us into trouble. Pride is what keeps us there. | | |
| 39 | The ladder of life is full of splinters, but they always prick hardest when you're sliding down. | | |
| 40 | The shortest distance between two points is under construction. | | |
| 41 | The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. -- Dolly Parton | | |
| 42 | There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy... -- Ambrose Bierce | | |
| 43 | There are two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group - there is lest competition there. -- Indira Gandhi | | |
| 44 | Too many of us are spending money we haven't earned to buy things we don't need to impress people we don't like. | | |
| 45 | We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations. | | |
| 46 | We were given two ends - one to sit on and the other to think with. Success depends on which one we use the most. | | |
| 47 | When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: `whose?' -- Don Marquis | | |
| 48 | Where there's a will, there's an inheritance tax. | | |
| 49 | While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands you are safe, for you can watch both of his. | | |
| 50 | You wouldn't be worried about what people think of you if you knew how seldom they actually do. | |
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